Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
She got out of her nearly paid-off Mercedes as she closed the garage door, walked up the steps and opened the kitchen door. She placed her leather handbag on the table and sifted through the mail her husband had laid there when he came home for lunch. A blue envelope caught her eye and she noticed her company’s name at the top. “Hmmm. Wonder what they are sending out. Probably my W-2,” she thought then immediately began pondering tax documents that have yet to come in.
The woman looked up from the mail, saw her reflection in the tall window that overlooked the back yard and noticed that her scarf had come untied. She tied it back in its usual neat off center knot. In the window she could see her classically styled size 12 teal pantsuit looked relatively fresh even after a long day at her office in town. Her warm brown hair had a sexy mussed-up look that tended to happen when she attended a lot of meetings of Fridays. Good thing her husband liked that look, ’cause that was what he was getting today. She smiled to herself as she kicked off her shoes and plopped onto the couch.
She laid aside the envelopes she knew had bills and advertisements in them. She held the blue envelope in her hand, recognized her name and address through the little cellophane window then stopped before she tore open the seal. There was part of the letter showing below her address. She tapped the top edge on the side table to see if the contents would shift enough to see a bit more. Success! She held it under the lamp and read the portion of a sentence that now showed clearly.
…regrets to inform you
Those were the words she read out loud but they screamed in her mind. What the hell! What do they regret? Am I being fired? Why am I being fired? She dropped the envelope beside her and thought about her job for a moment. After 8 yrs, she was darn good at her job! Her department had made the company a lot of money this past year. How dare they think about firing her! She picked up the envelope again and shook it some more to see if more words showed through the little window. Nothing but those first hateful words were view-able.
Maybe she wasn’t being fired. Yeah, that felt better. Maybe there is a layoff. Oh, no! I wonder if Becky is on the list. She just got back from maternity leave. What will she do in a lay-off? She and her husband just moved into their new home last year. This could ruin them. It can’t be a lay-off. Surely the company wouldn’t be so cruel. What am I saying, of course, they could, they are looking to make a profit, not take care of the world. I thought this company was different, that they valued their employees. That was why I decided to work for them. How could I be so wrong?
I know what it is. It’s a reprimand. I knew that little argument with Bill would come back to bite me! He had a point with the logistics of that project but his solution was gonna cost much more than Casey’s idea. I had to make a decision that was viable and cost effective. Why did he have to slam his fist on the table and yell at Casey? I had to ask him to leave until he got hold of himself, didn’t I? He swore he’d get even. Now it’s happened. I wonder if this will affect my future project managing. She sighed and laid her head against the back of the couch.
“Hey, Sweetie,” her husband called from the back door. “How’s my favorite girl? I don’t know about you but I need a whiskey after the day I’ve had. Wanna glass of wine?” He saw her on the couch with her eyes closed. He fixed the drinks and came over to sit with her, handing her the glass.
She opened her eyes as he sat down, took the glass of wine and drank a long gulp before speaking. “How would you feel about moving to a cheaper place, maybe the country somewhere?”
He saw the blue envelope in her hand. “What does your letter say?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t opened it yet.”
“Why not? Could be good news” He took a sip of his whiskey and kicked off his shoes. He mimicked her pose and sat with his head back against the couch.
She looked at the envelope, took another swig of wine then set the glass down on the table. She turned the envelope over and tore open the seal. Taking out the letter she took a deep fortifying breath.
She scanned the greeting and began reading the letter to herself.
American Technology Components (ATC) regrets to inform you that all company paychecks will be late this week due to a fire in our outsourced accounting and payroll department. Your information and all our accounts are safe but the emergency has caused a slight delay. You all will receive a 1% bonus to make up for the inconvenience. A fund has been set up to help the family-run business involved with their relocation should you choose to donate.
It has come to our attention that you and your department were the driving force in ATC’s recent increase in in our fourth-quarter income statement. All of you are to be commended and will receive recognition at the next company Board meeting. You will receive a notice of time and place so you may attend in your weekly company summary.
After several favorable employee reviews and your long track record of on-time/within-budget project management ATC wants to offer you a position commensurate with your experience and capabilities. We invite you to come to our Miami headquarters to negotiate salary and benefits so that you may begin in the new position at the start of the next fiscal quarter. Travel documents and airline tickets will be forthcoming.
Again our apologies in the payroll delay. Your dedication to your work and attention to the welfare of those under your supervision is one of the things that make American Technology Components a world leader among our peers. If you have any questions or comments, please forward them to the Human Resource department.
Sincerely,
She couldn’t believe what she just read. He husband sipped his whiskey and quietly allowed her to read the letter. She turned to him and sat there for a moment. He felt her stare and sat up looking back at her. “Well? Was it good news?” He was met with silence so he asked as he leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes again, “What would you like to do for dinner?”
She smiled and shook her head at all the dire thoughts she had before she opened that little blue envelope. Her motto had always been- Prepare for the worst but Hope for the best. She must have been more tired than she realized. She had forgotten the Hope part of the saying for a brief time.
“How do you feel about seafood?” she mused out loud.
“Sounds good. Where are you thinking?” he answered without moving from his comfortable position.
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
I have laid out my beliefs and thoughts of life’s reality in parts one, two, three, & four of The Red Pill Journey on this blog. Now I give you my perspective on what we do with that reality to mitigate all the other times we have tried to “win the game” of Duality Integration.
There are spiritual traditions that say we have gone through this several times in the past. The cosmological view gives the worlds of Lemuria, Atlantis One, and Atlantis Two as previous attempts. The Hopi give three worlds that have gone before. The first was destroyed by fire, the second by ice, and the third by water. The fourth world is due to end soon- perhaps now. The Mayans believed that all of life followed cycles. According to their calculations left to us on ancient tablets, the recent cycle that includes the equinoxes\’ precession has ended. We are transitioning into a new cycle of time.
Looking at our outside world at this moment, it does indeed feel like something is ending. Structures that we have built and relied upon for as long as anyone alive can remember are crumbling. We no longer feel safe, nor can we place our trust in institutions as we once did. Society is divided mostly into two camps, but even these two sides are somewhat fragmented within themselves. It is difficult to see how we can make it through this trying time.
One camp is Service-to-Self (STS) oriented. Generally, this portion of society thinks, acts, and believes in themselves first and foremost. Every action is first considered as “How does this benefit me?” The other camp is Service-to-Others (STO) oriented. Generally, this portion of humanity thinks, acts, and believes in others’ goodness and wants to help those in less fortunate circumstances. The difficulty comes in distinguishing between the two, as many folks are a mix of the two camps. Eventually, one of these sides will be chosen as more inline with their soul-mission goals. We will look at each of these orientations, with our first foray being the Service-to-Others side. It has two main components that we will explore.
Some sage advice from some well-meaning soul once said: If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten. The divide between the two Service-to-Others sides is widening further and further each day. For simplicity’s sake, let’s explore the two factions and see what they offer. We will set aside the detailed fragmentation and deal with broad views. I state right now that I do not believe that one faction is better or worse than the other. My hope is that you understand why when we finish this cursory analysis. We will call these factions Team Jupiter and Team Saturn.
In astrology, the planet Jupiter is called the Great Benefic. It is the planet of luck, fortune, and generosity. Jupiter is known for making things it touches bigger, grander, and more than it usually is. Higher education, travel, humor, philosophy, and faith are all governed by this gas giant. Being the largest planet in our solar system, Jupiter has a massive gravitational pull.
When Team Jupiter is balanced, it can enhance a society to become generous, just, and fair, embracing various cultures and lifestyles. It has a nurturing attitude and faith that draws people into its circle. Humane, reasonable, and a respect for authority are this team’s hallmarks. Team Jupiter has excellent organizational skills. With its philosophical bent, this group can imagine a just world in which people and things are in a better circumstance than they were. Team Jupiter is the fun crowd and has an air of conviviality.
If Team Jupiter is not in balance, we find less desirable traits at play. Vanity, partiality, and wastefulness can be exhibited. Jupiter can be excessive. It is possible to have too much of a good thing. A tendency towards over-indulgence, over-promising, and destructive hedonism can be detrimental to Team Jupiter’s cause. In trying to be generous and inclusive for everyone and everything, this team can over-look the reasons to be discerning. In the extreme state, Team Jupiter can have an over-reliance in believing all outside authorities, thereby imposing excessive rules alienating those they try to influence.
Saturn in astrology is considered the Greater Malefic. Structure, hard work, and discipline are its hallmarks. The ringed planet is not straightforward, nor is it happy-go-lucky. It is known to place restrictions and limitations on all it touches. Saturn is the Father of Time. The delays in your life can be laid on Saturn’s shoulders. It is also responsible for productivity, careers, and tradition. While Jupiter has respect for authority, Saturn is the authority. No one gets around Saturn. Saturn perfects, and the rewards are worth waiting for.
When Team Saturn is balanced, much can be accomplished on time and within budget. The i’s are dotted, and the t’s are crossed in their detailed plans. Team Saturn knows how to practice until it is as perfect as it can be. These people are fond of hard work and can take a successful fundraising event that becomes part of a community tradition. Obligation and responsibility are part of the make-up of this team. When a project needs attention, Team Saturn is the authority you can rely on. Helping others to help themselves is the way of Team Saturn.
Team Saturn can become unbalanced. Its need for perfection can make the work and practice boring, taking a long time to accomplish. This group can get bogged down and refuse to alter traditions when they are out-dated. Team Saturn can be so focused on the budget that the reason for the project is forgotten. In being super-responsible, they can have a difficult time allowing others to help. In the search for efficiency, this team can sometimes be harsh in allowing others to be different. In extremes, Team Saturn becomes controlling and dogmatic, refusing to allow for an individual empathetic response.
As with the two significant delineations of folks on planet earth- STS and STO-, the two components of the Service-to-Others path can be a mixture. Very few are pure Jupiter or Saturn. This is fortunate for us all, for that makes it easier to find common ground. Getting these two teams to work together is the goal. When this happens, nothing can stop the good they can do in fulfilling their mission as STO on this planet. Those with more Jupiter leanings can bring big dreams that help the most people. Saturn mindset folks ground that energy by asking the hard questions of time, resources, and sustainability. We need both types of people to do the greatest good for a significant portion of folks while being good stewards with the resources available.
In Part Two, we will look at the Service-to-Self path and what motivates the other major group on this planet. Knowing the people’s energy that makes up the individuals of our world can help you see the inner workings of events and activities that are going on, especially now in this uncertain time. Realizing the motivation of folks helps you see ways to unite instead of divide. In many martial arts practices, you are taught to use your opponent’s energy and momentum to avoid being hurt, thereby allowing them to defeat themselves. When we are aware of what unites us, we can use that energy and momentum to further a positive agenda. We can permit ourselves to indeed be Service-to-Others.
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
It was a chilly autumn afternoon where the smell of ripe bananas filled the air along with the faint whiff of Pine-Sol in the distance. I waited my turn to leave the coziness I had become accustomed to. My friend Pepper and I were close, talking over good times but always wondering when our last moments would be. It was too much to contemplate, so we sat patiently in the dark with our unspoken dreams laying waste in the smothering atmosphere of our home. My name’s Arnold, and here’s the story of my demise.
The door to our home opened like an unseen hand compelling Pepper and me to leave our humble dwelling. We were going together. That was a blessing… and a curse. We only knew that when one of us left our home, no one returned. Oh, well. Forward and onward. Better to be brave than … I don’t know what comes next, for we were not acquainted with the brave ones that had gone before us.
Next, we were slathered with a congealed oily lotion but only on one side. We lay there on our backs side by side with the lotion side up. I could smell fire and feel the heat from what could only be our doom. Calm down, I said to myself. You don’t know what will happen. It could be something good! Cold reason took over, and I knew I was done for.
We were joined by a soft, sleek dark golden girl. She shivered slightly then volunteered her name, Vel. We introduced ourselves and lay quietly, awaiting our fate. Vel spoke into the silence and asked if we had done this before. We told her no then asked if she had. She said she hadn’t, but a friend of hers had been brought back home once. They said it wasn’t so bad and told us not to worry. Somehow I didn’t find her words very comforting.
There was a lifting of my body, and then I felt Vel at my back. Pepper was behind her and trying to slide out of the way, but an unseen force firmly held him in place. The heat was getting more noticeable. The acrid smell of burning fat enveloped my being as I fell onto a shiny metal object. Instantly I felt my flesh burn and sizzle with the lotion that had been applied so carefully, not moments before. It was torture waiting for the heat-induced misery to end with either becoming unconscious or burnt to a cinder.
When I thought I could take no more, it happened. I was lifted once more, then flipped around so that Pepper felt the same burning agony that I had felt for what seemed an interminable amount of time. It was then I noticed that Vel was not faring well either, for she had fainted and gone soft- softer than she had been before if that was possible. The air was filled with the scorched smell of friends gone too soon. What else could happen to us?
As before, I felt a lifting of my body though this time we were one unit, fused together for all eternity- Pepper, Vel, and me. We were slowly lowered to a smooth cool surface and lay there, getting our bearings for a moment. I thought, “Is this it? All that suffering to become melded into one Being then left to harden and crust over?” But it was not to be.
I felt that lifting sensation once again. In the distance, a cavern opened and got closer and closer. Oh no! Not that! Then everything went black.
~
On a chilly, autumn afternoon, a mother asked her son sitting at the kitchen table if he liked his lunch. “Bobby, how was your grilled cheese sandwich today?”
~ For all my spooky-loving friends out there on the Inter-webs, Happy Halloween. With love, Catherine Denton
Cathy Denton
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
Humans are made to create. It is in our blood, our psyche, our very soul. Our imagination is infinite. It can not be contained; it always finds a way to express itself. Humanity would not thrive without this ability. Each one of us has a spark inside that is unique, memorable and oh so needed for this time. You were built to add to the world your individual creations so that we may all move forward in consciousness.
As humans, we create tools, relationships, agreements, art, shelter, food, ideas, communication, language, life, and so much more. Our capacity for innovation knows no bounds. We draw on the collective consciousness of thousands of years of humanity, perhaps more. We are always creating something.
We are creator beings with individual perspectives, tastes, and opinions. Humanity learns through contrast and comparison. We need something to dislike so that we may know what we do like. We need down compared to up, good in contrast to bad, fear in contrast to safe. This is why food buffets are so popular! Our world is a landscape of variety to compare and distinguish one aspect of something from another.
There are those in humanity who desire control and steer the rest in the direction of their choosing. The would-be controllers attempt to limit those who freely create. They restrain or get others to do it for them. They endeavor to silence, squelch, and censor the contrast to the direction they put forth. Sanitizing, suppressing, or deleting creations from the past may be attempted. They do not realize that history always repeats itself. The present can not be held back. Nature is ever in motion.
To limit or censor another is to put the same constraints on the self. If I say you can not do thus, I am limiting my options as well. Without your input of variation, I can not know what the opposite of that is. This, therefore, limits my choices. If a book or movie is edited or deleted altogether, someone is bound to make another so that the balance of contrast continues forth. Ideas and concepts get recycled and reused. We need them in our lives so that we can draw from their wisdom- the good and the bad. That which serves us helps us feel accomplished while that which serves no one is used as a catalyst to move us forward and look for more of that which provides for the greater good.
Recent attempts at censoring individual voices, especially those that express conservative or alternative to the mainstream-media views, are causing a widening rift in humanity. It may come as a surprise to some, but not all people live in the same reality. There is a consensus in some aspects while not in others, like a VEN diagram with overlapping circles. We may agree we live in the same country, but our lives reflect our attitudes and expectations. For all of us to have the same experiences is to limit our choices. It suppresses our natural creativity. Eventually, it is expressed but in a destructive way that hurts rather than to heal.
In past years, my husband and I would occasionally have dinner out with my parents. Health issues caused them to lose some of their natural optimism and joy while Jon and I were in good health and doing well in our lives. We were all in the same restaurant at the same table with the same server. Our experiences were very different, no matter when we went out or where we ate our meal. Somehow my parents’ meals had something not quite right, or their check would be added wrong. Our meals were usually correct, with no problems. I watched this phenomenon happen over and over.
I observed how my parents acted in public, what they talked about. In contrast to their example, I decided to act and speak differently. As a consequence, my reality became different from the one they experienced. Without this illustration, I would not have known anything else to do. I did not suppress my creative nature and did not limit myself to their experience. Through contrast, I found a way that worked for me, and it gave me an outcome more in-line with how I wanted my life to be.
Observe the difference in visual art between Michelangelo versus Jackson Pollock. How can we dismiss either artist? We may each have our preferences, but to deny another of their choice is limiting us as well. As we create outwardly, our inner landscape changes and recreates itself in tandem. Our tastes in art and other life experiences morph and grow as we walk through our lives. My daughter only ate chicken nuggets as a child. Now, as a 27-year old, she tries new foods all the time. Her limited diet grew as she did in age and maturity.
How are you welcoming contrast & diversity of thought into your life experience? Are you squelching your creativity or the creative expressions of others? Are you casting an unfavorable judgment on someone else’s choices? In the game of Duality Integration- which we are all playing- we need the various shades of opinions and options to make the tapestry of our collective lives rich, full, and meaningful. Invite creative variety. You will be better served for it.
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
Brigid hiked her skirt with one hand and carried the pail of milk with the other as she trudged up the hill to the house. Himself will be wantin’ the té when she got there, if she was any judge. Good thing she had half a cake from last night. Wouldn’t be long til sundown when she could finish her mending by the fire while her Papa smoked his pipe and tattled about the doings of the men at the pub.
“Brigid, me girl. Where would you be with the te?” Sean O’Farrell called as he heard his daughter enter the kitchen door. He enjoyed stirring her up now and again. There be times when she got a bit uppity though now, not so much. After the fire his darlin’ girl seemed a might skittish around the folk. The burns had healed on the outside but he knew deep down she still felt the fear and smelt the scorched flesh. Still she was a handsome lass and would make a right proper wife once the Maguire returned from the war in Spain.
“Hush now, Papa! You know I must strain and put the milk away,” she called into the parlor. Having finished that chore she spooned the tea into the pot and poured the water that had been kept hot on the stove. Cutting the cake and gathering the cups, she made her way to her father’s side.
“Aught I know it, girl! Sit yourself down and pass the cake if you please,” he smiled at her as she blew a tendril of hair from her forehead. “I heard from Ian Dougal that Patrick Joyce had returned. Wasn\’t he in Danny\’s regiment?”
You could hear Brigid\’s sharp intake of breath at the name. Patrick returned? That must mean Danny was soon to be here as well, she thought. How can I face him when he expects to see what he remembers and not what has become her reality. “Did Ian see Patrick or did he hear it from another?” asked Brigid.
“Lost a shilling in a card game to him night a\’fore last so I\’m supposin\’ he saw him in the flesh.” at the sight of the panic in her eyes he sought to sooth her worries, “Now darlin\’ girl. Don\’t you worry your handsome head. Danny Maguire will be here like a shot when he gets off the boat,” he filled his pipe again and lit the tobacco before he went on, “He hasna forgot you. Once he gets settled, it\’ll be right as rain, just you wait.”
Brigid wasn’t so sure of that welcomed site. A lot had changed in the two years he had gone from Enniskillen to join the dragoons on the peninsula. She had heard Spanish women were a lovely site to behold. It could be that she wouldn’t compare well to what he had been surrounded by of late. The girl he knew was no longer. Would he even give a second look to the one who took her place?
~
Daniel Maguire adjusted his crutches as he made his slow way down the wharf to the awaiting coach. His dear mother stood by the road and after seeing him, allowed the tears of relief flow like a river down her softly wrinkled face. My boy is home now. It will be alright, she thought as she watched him, head down as he took each step closer. The right pants leg pinned up at the knee was jarring to see but he was home and that was all that mattered. Daniel looked up to catch his breath when he saw his mother coming to meet him. He waited for her to get closer then said, “Mama. Sorry I\’m a bit late. Couldn’t get the boat to go any faster” he joked when he saw her tears. “I\’ll be usin\’ less fabric for me trews from now on but I\’ll take less time at the bathin’ as well.” His mama held him and cried as he leaned against her and steadied himself with the crutches. He was home and that was all that mattered. Time enough for worries on the morrow.
He had to wait on the boat for two days until the quartermaster kitted him out with clothing that fit and the paymaster set up his pension. Four-pence a day wasn’t much but it kept hunger at bay. He had the shilling Patrick had given that he won off Ian Dougal so he wasn’t entirely broke. The King’s service wasn’t known for making a man of his station rich nor was it known for keepin’ em whole. He wasn’t sure if those that died in battle were better off. None of that could be said to his mother so he lifted his head and gathered his courage. A few more steps and he could rest until he got home. Then his new life, such as it appeared to be, would begin.
~
Brigid opened the worn letter, the last she received from Danny a month ago. It was a short note in contrast to the ones sent before. All it said is that he was headed home and he would see her soon. There were no words of love or anticipation just the bald words on the page. On the desk was the request from Danny’s mother to come to tea on Saturday, just two days hence. Brigid knew Danny was home now but hadn’t been out and about with his friends. Indeed he had not had any callers as his mother kept all at bay telling folks that Danny needed a chance to rest and adjust to being home.
She fretted as to what to wear. Long sleeves of course though the June weather proved warm. The pretty scarves in the dresser were brought out and looked through. Her father had had them made for her so she wouldn’t feel self-conscious among others. The blue would do well. It matched the blue in her eyes and the pink calico looked fine with the scarf. Wearing her hair low on her neck in its usual bun would complete her toilet. She would then feel ready to face whatever Daniel Maguire would say or do.
~
If Danny had felt steady enough, he would have paced the room. Instead he tapped his crutch on the floor in a drummers tattoo as he waited for Brigid to come. What would she say when she saw him? Would she feel she made a bad bargain when she promised to wait for his return? He never should have come home. No one wants damaged goods. What was he to do? How would they live? She could do so much better, he was sure.
~
Brigid walked the two miles to Danny\’s home. She felt dusty and cross but mostly with herself. She stepped up on the porch then hesitated and stepped back down. She turned as she heard the door creak open. Too late. I lost my chance to leave now, she thought. Putting on her best smile, she looked up into the face of Mrs. Maguire.
“Brigid, dear! Come in! Come in! We have been waiting for you.” The older woman led her into the parlor and indicated a chair for her to sit on. Danny stood a bit wobbly on his crutches before he looked at Brigid. She was just as he remembered. Chestnut hair, blue eyes, dimples as she smiled, her trim figure looked a bit more wane and she looked at him with panic. I\’ve made a mistake, he thought. She has taken a disgust o’ me. I can see it.
Brigid froze as she saw Danny rise from the chair. All her fears came to the fore. He is only doing this out of pity. Surely his mother told him what happened. I see his brave face. He must have been injured since she saw the crutches out of the corner of her eye. His expression consumed her. He doesn’t like what he sees. I have lost him. Now what do I do?
“Brigid, dear, please sit down. Let me get the tea while you two get to know one another again.” Mrs. Maguire left them alone and went to the kitchen.
“Brigid,” Danny managed to squeak out, “its good to see you.” Is that all you can say Danny Boy? How can I act normal when I don’t feel that way?
“Its good to see you too, Danny” she somehow got the words said without falling in a faint. “I thank you both for the invitation.” The words were stilted as they filled the air between them. Both of them talked for hours before he left to fight Napoleon. What happened? Blessed St. Patrick, she thought. She knew what happened. It will never be the same.
Mrs. Maguire came back with a laden tray. She glanced from one to the other. Danny with panic in his eyes, Brigid with what seemed like shame. I must do something to help them, she thought. But what?
“I’m sorry, Mrs Maguire but I must go now. It was good of you to ask me to come but I can see that Danny is not happy I’m here,” she hurriedly spoke as she quickly stood to walk back to the door. Mrs. Maguire protested her leaving and looked at her son as he rose from his chair. Before she knew what was happening, Danny fell and toppled the tea tray splashing the hot beverage onto the floor and the back of Brigid’s dress.
Feeling the hot water touch her leg, Brigid screamed and collapsed in a faint onto the floor near Danny. He was struggling to a sitting position as his mother helped Brigid by straightening her gown and lifting her head from the broken pottery and spilled tea. If it wasn’t so tragic the scene would have been comical with people sprawled on the floor in such a fashion. Brigid was coming around as Mrs Maguire held her. Danny scooted himself over to her. He looked at his poor mama and gathered Brigid in his arms. Mrs. Maguire moved out of the way to pick up the broken items and retreat to the kitchen to find a wet rag to clean the floor.
“Brigid, oh, Brigid. Speak to me. Tell me you\’re alright.” Danny crooned in her ear as Brigid felt the strength of his arms and the warmth of his breath. Was that tears she felt on her cheek?
“Danny. Why are you crying?” she asked when she could turn slightly to see his face.
“Brigid, my love. I thought I lost you. I can’t lose you. I can’t go on if you aren’t by my side” Danny confessed. He sat up next to her and helped her to lean against the nearby chair she had been sitting in. He straightened out his legs then looked into her face. “This is the man I have become, darlin\’ Brigid. Not quite the man you promised to wait for. I won’t hold you to that promise if you don’t feel the same about me now” Danny looked at what was left of his legs and waited for her response.
She looked at the left leg, strong and straight then at the right, foreshortened and empty in his pants below the knee. After an eternity she spoke, “Oh, Danny! I don’t know what to say,” she fumbled with her sleeve and scarf. “Danny look at me” she commanded. “I won’t hold you to that promise either.”
Danny looked at the red and pink twisted flesh on her arm and could see that it went up to her neck and hairline on the left side. It puckered in some places while it was tight and shiny in others. “There is a patch like this on me side as well,” she said as she rolled the sleeve back down. Danny caught her hand and held it tight in his grasp. He looked in her eyes and recognized the disgust he thought he saw before was the same pain he was feeling for the changes the last years had wrought on them both.
“I will tell you my story if you share yours with me,” Brigid said after a time. They both scooted on the floor into a more comfortable position. He placed his arm about her and she leaned her head against his shoulder. Mrs Maguire, good woman that she was, heard their soft murmurs and settled in the kitchen until taking herself off to bed when the hour grew late.
“I was with the 4th Regiment of the Queen’s Own Dragoons at Talavera. We had left Vitoria a month before. Our supplies were late and food was scarce but the Army and Boney waits on no man,” Danny began. “What did you eat?” asked Brigid.
“Is maith an t-anlann an t-ocras*, as they say. When your hungry, anything to put in your belly is more than you had. Don’t worry, we made do and shared what was there to be et,” Danny philosophically said.
“We rode our horses into the thick of the battle, good lads all of them, and dismounted to fight slashing all who came near with our sabers. I caught a bayonet in the calf when I cut a frog down but he got the last laugh. The cut became infected and turned gangrene. The doctor did what he had to do to save me life. God knows how many didn’t make it through those butchers they called surgeons. When I was well enough to travel they sent me home,” Danny finished and blew out a long-held breath. He had been dreading telling that to anyone. Now it was done. He could see it for what it was. He could now mourn his dearly departed leg.
“Our milk cow had a difficult birth and was in the stall trying with all her might to push out the calf. I heard her thrashing about and went out with my lantern. One of the little goats became untethered and got up under me skirts causing me to stumble. Well the lantern went one way and I went the other. My dress caught a spark and before I could get the fabric off, it stuck to my arm and neck. Papa heard the commotion and came running but too late to keep me from being badly burnt. I was so scared I fainted so only knew what happened after it was over. One of the field hands helped put out the fire before it did much damage to the barn,” Brigid said as she held Danny\’s hand.
“We’re a pair, ain’t we now. I lost a leg and you now have a scarred arm. Maybe we’re luckier than we know,” Danny mused. “I’m willing to keep my promise. What say you, Brigid O’Farrell?”
“Aye! I promised to wait for you, Danny Boy. Where do we go from here? How will we live?” Brigid wondered out loud.
“I may have a solution. When we weren’t fighting Bony\’s men, I helped out with the Major’s reports and accounts. There’s a chance he would give me a character so I could be a secretary. I won’t need two good legs for that,” shouted Danny as he gave the offending appendage a slap. They laughed and held each other far into the night. Plans were made, words of love were spoken and pent-up emotions were finally spent. Two years was a short span for so much to happen. The people they were had departed from this life. Now was their chance to begin anew.
~~~
*(Iss maw on tan-lan on tuc-rass) Hunger is a good sauce.
~ Catherine Denton is currently transferring her book, Metaphysical Girl: How I Recovered My Mental Health to another publisher. Please stay tuned for a re-launch in the near future. Thank you for your support!
Cathy Denton
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
I mentioned in Part One of this series that we live in a universe of Duality. I believe this is a card we were collectively dealt with. We may not always experience complete awareness of the dualistic nature of our world. Still, it can be seen from a higher perspective. All of life is a product of symmetry and balance. As above, so below. There is no You without Me. The unifying concept of Duality is you can’t have one of these aspects without the other. In that sense, everything becomes one thing connecting with the All.
We experience life through our senses- see, hear, taste, touch, smell- plus some people are aware of their extrasensory abilities. Each of these abilities is in the form of a wave or frequency that vibrates very quickly with only two states of choice- on and off. How fast the vibration determines the sense that is used. Humans can typically see in the range of 405-790 THz. Audible sounds for the same human range from 20 Hz- 20,000Hz. The other senses use other frequencies to understand our world. Humans made computers with this same working in mind with 1’s and 0’s- the on and off frequency wave of the digital world.
With each of these senses, we become aware of the dualistic nature of that which surrounds us. We see lightness and darkness, feel hardness and softness, smell pleasantness and stinkiness, hear sharp and bass sounds, and taste spicy and bland. We can not know one of these aspects without the other to compare or contrast it to. Humans also can decide we prefer one part over the other even if we have never experienced the other. To accomplish this feat, we rely on those who have experienced it to give their opinion. Depending on what we believe about that opinion holder, we decide for or against the thing in question. We can choose to ignore what we do not want, but that does not make it go away, nor make it less valuable.
When we rely on others to experience the world for us, we, in turn, experience a distortion due to using another person to filter the world through. We are taking the Oreo cookie apart to only eat the middle, never knowing how good those chocolate wafers are when they are dunked in cold milk. We may view the other side of something as a waste but the saying, “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” exists for a good reason. Allowing ourselves to seek balance will enable us to remove some of our distorting filters.
Our language gives evidence of our unconscious knowledge of Duality: No gain without pain, no rainbow without the rain, and even in physics, Newton’s Third Law of Motion- for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We don’t always recognize the “water” we are swimming in. But when we become conscious of this duality-the water that surrounds us- we then can see a choice. Exercising choice in a dualistic universe gives us power. We are no longer hindered by the on/off switch of any current reality. The take-it or leave-it attitude that prevails in an unconscious society can be bent a bit to serve you. You can see a third, fourth, and even fifth choice, such as changing our personal attitudes, choosing both options, and even asking for help to instigate a compromise.
When you see choices within the dualistic nature of life, you go from playing checkers – going this way or that- to evolve into playing chess using strategy and awareness of options. Going along with the on/off of life is much more comfortable in the short-term. I believe being aware and consciously choosing brings greater rewards for long-term outcomes. The symmetry that occurs gives equal weight to all choices. We have but to decide on our individual preference for the goal and go from there.
~ Catherine Denton is currently transferring her book, Metaphysical Girl: How I Recovered My Mental Health to another publisher. Please stay tuned for a re-launch in the near future. Thank you for your support!
Cathy Denton
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
He came into the bedroom and found her there just fresh from the bath, the water droplets still dripping from her chin, her elbows and running slowly down her thigh. She brought the towel to her face and dabbed away the wetness while staring into his face as he watched her intently. Time stopped for a moment as they stood observing each other. Waiting for some indication of intent.
“I thought you had gone to bed” he said as he laid his jacket on the chair. “You seemed in a hurry to get as far away from me as you could after dinner.”
“You weren’t very talkative yourself. I figured you wanted to get back to your work” she remarked as she continued to dry the water from her skin. “Why aren’t you in your work shed?”
He paused for a moment then slowly walked across the room toward her saying, “ I thought about what you said. I know I don’t say it much but…,” he took a deep breath, “I can’t go on like this. I am so afraid of losing you so I\’ll just lay it all on the line right here, right now.” He took the towel from her hands and dropped it to the floor. She looked up at him with questioning eyes while he put his hands on her hips drawing her close. “I love you so damn much it hurts. I have loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you and I have not stopped loving you for one minute since then. I am so sorry I hurt you. I have no excuse but … is there any chance that you could forgive me?”
She stood there, dampness still touching her skin but not caring as this man she loved, cared for and pledged her life to so many years before was baring his soul to her. He spoke words she never thought to hear from his lips. Somehow the awful events of the past few weeks seemed inconsequential to what was happening at this moment with him. She still felt hurt and a bit rejected but she also felt fresh hope that maybe… just maybe… something could be salvaged from the wreckage that had been their relationship before.
“What happened to us?” she whispered. “What changed for us to go down this path? I have felt so alone. Can we give it another go and maybe learn something from this?” She leaned into his chest, her wet hair soaking his shirt front as she held him around his waist.
Closing his eyes, he placed his chin on top of her head, holding her and drinking in her scent. This woman he now held wanted to try again. She wasn’t leaving… at least not yet… though there was reason enough. He felt desire for her surge. He tightened his hold and ran his hands up her body to cup her breast with one hand while caressing her back with the other. She moaned softly. That was his undoing.
She tipped her head up and his came down to meet her lips. They kissed like someone dying of thirst and fearing the water might run out. She ran her hands up his back feeling the muscles jump and flex as she caressed him. She began pulling his shirt out of his pants so she could feel his skin against her hands, raking his back with her nails.
“You have too many clothes,” she said between kisses. He ignored her demands and walked her backwards to the closed bathroom door. His hands never stopped exploring her body as if he hadn’t felt it for years, everything seemed new and full of promise now. How could this woman give him this chance and him not give her all he had to give. He vowed to himself that they would not regret giving it another go, for too many others before them had given up so easily over much less provocation.
She moved her hands from his back to work the buttons on the front of his shirt while he still held her pinned to door, kissing her lips, her face, her neck. She unbuckled his belt and unzipped his jeans but that was all she was able to do before he reached for her wrists and captured them above her head. She felt vulnerable, standing there with nothing to hide her but his body brushing against her. He was still fully clothed, if a bit disheveled.
“Can you feel how much I want you?” he groaned as he ground his groin against her lower belly. “I want to make it good for you. Let me show you a good time.” He brought his face close to hers in an almost kiss.
“I thought you\’d never offer,” she whispered against his parted lips. “I\’ve wanted this and much more from you for so long. Now here it is…at last.”
** This story is from a writing prompt with my Poetry & Prose Group. We had to use a song title to write a story. I chose Etta James and her song At Last. May you come to realize that getting to redemption may be challenging but the benefits can be amazing.
Cathy Denton
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
In continuing the series of disclosing my beliefs, we come to the subject of illness and disease. Much has been written in metaphysical circles on this and other details of the human condition. I remind the reader that the cycle of humanity is a long game, encompassing many lifetimes on this earth. Afflictions in one lifetime can spill over into the next. This aspect of generational disorders can plague us if you pardon the pun until the root cause is transmuted and integrated into the family line.
Many folks have enumerated the emotional reasons for various ailments. Louis Hay\’s book You Can Heal Your Life is one I have consulted, among others. For the most part, illness comes to the physical body through the mechanism of emotional distress. Anger, Fear, Grief, Guilt, and Shame constitute the bulk of the culprits. These emotions, in varying intensities and duration, become lodged in certain portions of our anatomy. Until they are acknowledged, allowed to be felt, and then released, we stay a slave to the effects they wreak on our bodies and minds.
We have several filters from which we view existence. Our overall concept of life- what it is/how it began/why we are here- is the Spiritual picture of our eternal soul. Our beliefs regarding our human experience are considered on our Mental plane. Next in line, we use our Emotional spectacles to decide which feelings will be activated for any situation. Finally, our Physical body goes into action both internally and externally.
If any of the lenses are distorted, that filters down to the subsequent areas. If my Spiritual concept of life is: There is no God or Higher Source, then the next level reflects this distortion. My Mental belief may be: I am alone and can count of no one but myself for help. The next level may trigger Emotions of anxiety & fear when I am overwhelmed and can find no one I can trust. If these emotions are felt with adequate intensity, and for a while, the outcome may be Physical issues with something simple like motion sickness. With extended events of fear & anxiety, I could have problems with my heart.
On a personal level, it can be challenging (but not impossible!) to discover the root cause of any illness. It could stem from our individual thoughts and beliefs, or it could have a generational aspect that can be hard to pin down. On the collective level, we can also have illnesses and maladies that seem to attack from nowhere. Plagues and pandemics being two mechanisms that humanity has had to deal with. The same lenses can become distorted, and disharmony can flourish. I believe that along with burning off Karmic contracts- deciding as a group before birth to endure specific trials while in human form- there can also be an upside to these diseased events.
The Smallpox epidemic, while devastating indigenous populations in The New World, ushered in a new treatment in the form of a vaccine. Cholera in the mid-19th century paved the way for improved sanitation. The Chinese Bubonic Plague gave scientists of the day research material. They discovered the bacteria that cause it and other historical plagues. Another consequence of mass illness is the reshaping of empires, populations, and governments prior to a leap in human consciousness. I spoke about this concept in The Gift of the Coronaon this blog. When humanity is put under pressure for some time, it incubates us and allows a metamorphosis to occur. We get an upgrade individually and collectively. Our understanding of ourselves and how we shape our reality is broadened. It is a collective Ah-ha! moment.
Our current Pandemic is another opportunity to upgrade my inner world. Using my circumstances instead of letting it use me can be a worthy endeavor. I am asking myself- Where in my life have I procrastinated in a self-improvement goal? Who have I neglected in expressing my appreciation for family and others? How can I regain my passion in creative ways? What do I really believe about life?
I encourage us all to use this time of extreme limitation to ponder our life and its recent trajectory. If we have had an illness, what emotion are we harboring deep within? Are we willing to acknowledge our feelings and feel them in a healthy way that does not intentionally harm others? What do we need to let go of, or who do we need to forgive? I am working on these issues and hope you all are as well.
~~ Catherine Denton is currently transferring her book, Metaphysical Girl: How I Recovered My Mental Health to another publisher. Please stay tuned for a re-launch in the near future. Thank you for your support!
Cathy Denton
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
My beliefs hold that we are eternal souls having a human experience that we had a hand in choosing. Now we tackle the seeming conundrum of suffering. If we look at our existence as finite and short, as many do, having a difficult life would be meaningless. Even with the promise of an afterlife like Heaven, Nirvana, Elysium, Valhalla, Jannah, Paradise, Sheol, Swarga, Yomi, the Summerland, or any other world beyond death, suffering is still a hard pill to swallow.
The end goal of Duality Integration and the premise of many lifetimes to achieve this objective helps us come to terms with our fragile lives. In each particular lifetime, we have the opportunity to choose a better way to respond to the slings and arrows of the human condition. While portraying our chosen role, we can hurt and be hurt spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We can be wounded by believing we are helpless or allowing others to penetrate our boundaries. Perhaps we aren’t listening to our inner guidance, or we take interactions personally. Then again, we could wreck our car, or stand in front of a speeding bullet. The list is endless, and we, as the human race, are very good at finding ways to hurt other people. History is full of atrocities. Compassion has never been our strong suit.
If life was relaxed and carefree with no ripple in our perfect existence, it might be fine for a time, but humans were not made for a quiet life. Duality inherently engenders conflict. There are choices to be made and preferences to determine. Anyone who has ever been on a committee knows that two or more people planning anything will have differing views on something. Compromising on the details of a project is a form of duality integration. It gives us practice for situations we are more emotionally invested in. Allowing others to have their preferences and not taking their choices as a personal assault leaves us free from our suffering. Remember, this is a long game we are playing.
In this 3D plane, our beliefs create what we experience in the world. This is true for the individual and for the collective of humanity. If we believe we are not worthy and have little value, situations that prove us right will show up in our life. If we think people steal, if they get a chance, we will experience theft in some manner. If we accept that folks with our attributes- size, gender, color, etc…- get taken advantage of, we will experience shysters of all stripes. Humans love being correct, and unconsciously seek proof of their beliefs everywhere. Have you ever bought a car, then afterward you drive down the road you see one just like yours everywhere you turn? Our focus makes that happen. We are unconsciously focused on our beliefs all the time because we are our favorite thing to think about. Our views or mindset are the lenses that color our world-view.
When we come into this life as a baby, totally dependent on others for our care, our early circumstances may be challenging or even downright abusive. We may ask, “Why is this happening? They haven’t done anything to deserve this!” Our beliefs can follow us through multiple lifetimes. We can also pick up on the views of our caregivers and ancestors. Perhaps, we have not integrated a particular non-serving mindset and keep brushing off our opportunities to correct it over many lifetimes.
As a consequence, we invite situations that become increasingly difficult to ignore. Perhaps in previous life experiences, we took advantage of others in various ways but shunned any notion of mending our actions. To mitigate our accumulated Karma, we might agree, before being born, to be an abused child to balance the scales.
Our ego is here to keep us alive. Still, it can prove a stumbling block when we desire to integrate duality by compromising in conflict. The ego is made to protect us. It does not want to be hurt and usually assumes the worst intentions of everyone. It takes everything personally. Fear of being wounded is what keeps us from compassion and compromise. We may adopt a get them before they get you mentality. Learning to trust is a heart-centered way to integrate duality. Being emotionally vulnerable and trusting ourselves in the face of adversity can bring us great rewards as we realize our individual part in the oneness of reality. Our ego has its place and need not be squashed. The ego and its fear is the ultimate separation from God/Source of All. Transcending the quest for temporal safety we realize we are always taken care of as an aspect of God. Seeking the higher states of understanding, a bird\’s eye view if you will, and exercising compassion puts us on the path of mastery in this life.
**What I am saying about suffering is in no way a scolding for leaving an abusive situation. When abuse is more than we can bear, it is difficult to reason or discern a higher path. Our body goes into a Freeze state where we are too overcome to fight back or run away. In this state, we succumb to what is now called PTSD- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. If you feel this is happening to you, find a way to ask for help. If you witness someone in this shape, offer assistance. Live to make better choices another day.
~ Samson Captured by the Philistines- Guercino (Giovanni Francesco Barbieri)- 1619
~~ Catherine Denton is currently transferring her book, Metaphysical Girl: How I Recovered My Mental Health to another publisher. Please stay tuned for a re-launch in the near future. Thank you for your support!
Cathy Denton
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
I believe we are eternal living souls. We all are aspects of God, the Source of All Things. As these different facets of the Sacred Whole, we live lives of various perspectives on this planet called Earth. It is similar to an actor in a play where you are assigned to or try out for a specific character in a production. In one performance or life, we are a hero in the story, but in the next play, we may be the villain. We have the opportunity to be men, women, or perhaps in-between. We play different races and ethnicities. We become an array of humanity during our time working in the Earth Theater. We have been every kind of human, so we can have these perspectives of existence. To have authentic characterizations, though, we cast off the previous role to fully embrace the one we are focused on at any particular time.
Separation exists because we are entangled with our present character and have forgotten that we have literally seen perspectives through other eyes. We live in a universe of duality. Where there are choices to be made and, in consequence, judgments to be cast. These are the lessons, ordeals, or missions that we experience in our lives on this 3D plane. Can you imagine a video game where there are levels of play in increasing difficulty and being in a different environment? Our lives have such similarities. At each level or lifetime, we go through stages of soul growth or remembrance and gather abilities, treasures, and karma. We bring these items with us to each level, so our competence and qualifications increases. We also bring with us the karma we have accumulated. Karma is (in simplistic terms) the reward or penalty for how we have lived our life. It is just like the saying- you reap what you sow. If you sow things that are for the highest good, you receive that as well. If you plant seeds that serve no one well, you harvest the bitter crop that you planted.
This experience of the eternal soul playing a human life is a long one. The game doesn\’t end with the death of a particular body. You are merely whisked backstage to rest for a time. You then try out for another part, helping to craft it so that you may have an interesting life. Your job is to stretch your capabilities, hone your skills, and fully be the character you portray. In short, you are to experience life in whatever way your part in the grand scheme needs. Many people choose an orientation of Service-to-Others where much of your life is devoted to the greater good of all. Others decide on the Service-to-Self path where they spend their experience to mostly do things that benefit themselves. If others are helped, it is only a byproduct or somehow furthers their goals. Each of these life paths is on a spectrum where extremes and imbalances can occur. Neither journey is good or bad, both are needed for the production to work. We are mastering Duality Integration at this time.
For the game to move along, we poke and prod other participants, sometimes to the detriment of each other or innocent bystanders. This is the catalyst that we need to push us forward so that we become more aware of our oneness. For each soul aspect, it may take many lifetimes to wake up and integrate a portion of their dualistic nature. When that happens, you are closer to ascending to a different type of game to master- life on the plane of 4D, 5D, and so on. The rules and goals are particular for each adventure.
Since this is a very long game- lifetime upon lifetimes worth- it is easy to see why our focus on one particular life at a time would cause us problems when it comes to stressful experiences we and our world encounter. We don\’t always understand in the moment the situation we find ourselves in or the reason why we suffer at times. Grasping the concept that we chose to be here and had a hand in the life we are playing can be confusing and disorienting. Perhaps it makes us refuse to look at the possibility. You may even attack the messenger due to your discomfort. If this is not the case and you want to know more, I will be back with Part Two shortly.
~ Catherine Denton is currently transferring her book, Metaphysical Girl: How I Recovered My Mental Health to another publisher. Please stay tuned for a re-launch in the near future. Thank you for your support!
Cathy Denton
Catherine Denton is a Metaphysician living in the Foothills of the Great Smoky Mountain National Park. Check out her musing on family, life, health, and various metaphysical topics.
